Thursday

Hello... Goodbye.

I can't believe I'm blogging now.

Type. Backspace. Type. Type...

It feels so surreal actually. It's been what? Ages? More than a year, since I last opened my blogger dashboard and clicked on that white pencil icon with the orange background and was led here to create a new post. Yes a new post. Can you believe it? Because I really can't.

I vividly remember saying goodbye (temporarily) to blogging early last year because of law school and other priorities. It was a sad farewell to my first love, really. There were countless number of times that I wanted to write or respond to a comment notification or confirm a bloggers' event invitation or agree to sponsorships, but I restrained myself from doing so, because I knew that if I do, I wouldn't be able to hold things back and keep stuff in check. I just had to, and I know my readers and blogger friends would understand.

But I cheat a little. I still read blogs, beauty product reviews, and everything fashion. I still go shopping from time to time. I don't hoard too much makeup anymore though, so as much as I want to do product reviews, I feel like I have nothing much to say and talk about.

Photo Credits: vimeo.com

But, yeah, sure, there were some pretty big changes in me as a person. Since my last blog post, two years were added to my numbers. I lost and gained weight, only to lose weight again. I had my hair dyed twice, only to have it recolored again. I gained new friends and lost old ones, only to gain them back again. I was able to buy my dream bag, use it every single day until the vachetta got rained on, only to keep it inside my bag closet now because of fear that it might get rained on again. I made wise and stupid purchases and decisions, regretting the stupid ones so bad, only to do them all over again. I planned to have a vacation abroad but I decided to cancel it because of time and financial constraints, only to plan it again on a very busy month so I think I might postpone it again. I've seen my parents reunite, only to realize that they can never be truly reunited as husband and wife, but only as good friends. I've witnessed my sister and my best friend get married on the same year, getting tearful, ecstatic and envious at the same time, only to leave me wondering again if marriage will really work for me.

I lost some dear people in our lives to the Lord and realized that time goes by so fast with us not saying anything to these dear people before they left, only to realize that some of the people I love the most don't say the things I think I need to hear, just in case anytime I won't be here anymore.

I failed some of my exams and recits in class, only to push me so hard to make me pass all of my subjects in the end. I struggled so hard to keep myself in law school only to stop struggling for a while and go back to my old job, then only to decide to come back again to law school and keep my job again.

And I decided to blog again, only to say goodbye once more, hoping that I will one day, decide to blog again.

Well, that's the truth. I said hello, so that I could say goodbye once more. At the beginning of this post I was so happy and hopeful that I even considered the possibility of blogging while studying and working and having a little bit of business on the side, and juggling them all together with so little time in my hands. But while nearing the end of my writing, I realized I just couldn't. Sigh... If only I was a superwoman.

There. Lastly, I want to thank all of you who still drop by my blog and take the time to read my old blog posts. I'm even shocked to see that my rankings are still pretty much doing well, and there are still a handful of unique visitors in my blog stats. I'm glad that you guys and girls are still there, so please, just comment away and I will try my best to respond to them as much as I can. By the way, I also linked my personal Instagram account here (the scroller widget on the right), where I regularly post my photos, my rants and musings about random stuff, including beauty and makeup. We could update each other there.

Life is indeed ironic, isn't it? We do things now, only to decide to stop doing it at the end of the day, either because we were forced to do so or we just needed to change our minds. I must say that, at the least, that is the exact same thing that I went through and still going through because of... uhmm, either of the two. But well, what can we do? I guess we just have to do the things we can, while we still can. 

And I am happy to say that I did all that with my head up high and my makeup on.

I'll see you soon.

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